Funny Zombie Jokes

Funny Zombie Jokes


Funny Zombie Jokes, Funny Zombie Puns, Funny Zombie Humor

Q: What do you call a deer that lost it’s eyes in a zombie attack?
A: No eye deer!

Q: How do you catch a tame zombie?
A: The tame way!

Q: What do zombies and tile have in common?
A: If you put them down right you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

Q: Did you hear about the Scottish zombie who died?
A: He was Kilt!

Q: Why can’t you stab a zombie with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Q: What did the judge say when a zombie walked into the courtroom?
A: “Odor in the court!”

Q: What’s the worst place to shoot a zombie?
A: In a lower organ!

Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: “Are you going to kiss me or rot?”

Q: Have you heard the joke about the zombie that was taken out by a trash can?
A: It’s rubbish!

Q: What do you call crazy people that like walking with a zombie herd?
A: Psychos!

Q: How do zombies name their babies?
A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make!

Q: What’s the difference between zombie and a boy scout?
A: A boy scout comes home from camp!

Q: What’s the difference between a zombie and a park bench?
A: A park bench can support a family of four!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie standing on the road?
A: It got run over!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the funeral alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find anybody with guts left to go!

Q: What did the ocean do when a zombie walks towards it?
A: The ocean waves!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie whose whole left side was cut off?
A: He’s all right now!

Q: What do you call a zombie without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose!

Q: Why is the barn the worst place to hide from zombies?
A: Because the cows have horns!

Q: How did the female zombie end up with a smokin’ hot body?
A: Cremation!

Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A zombie who’s been struck by lightning!

Q: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
A: His patient turn on him while cleaning his teeth!

Q: What’s the difference between a zombie and a normal person?
A: The zombie is looking at their iPhone!.

Q: What do you say to a zombie in a three piece suit?
A: “Dressed for your funeral”

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a zombie?
A: The pizza doesn’t scream when it’s cut up in to pieces!

Q: Why was the vegetarian zombie that lived on mushrooms so popular?
A: Because he was a fun-gi!

Q: Why couldn’t the zombie say a Halloween joke?
A: He kept walking in to the punch line!

Q: How do you define what a zombie joke is?
A: Use the word zombie in it!

Q: What do you call a bunch of zombies inside a school bus?
A: A rotten banana!

Q: Why did the zombie cross the road?
A: It heard you!

Q: What do you call a walker with out legs?
A: A crawler!

Q: What creature has three legs?
A: A zombie with a leg in the mouth!

Q: What is green and very bad for your health if bitten?
A: A zombie!

Q: Why did the zombie go around telling jokes and not bite people?
A: He wanted them to laugh their heads off!

Here are Some Longer Zombie Jokes To Enjoy!

Two fathers and two sons went Zombie hunting.

Each shot a zombie but they shot only three zombies in all. How
The hunters were a old man, his son and his grandson.


Wow, Rick, I never thought a zombie would go that far!

Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get another one!


“Your Sick”
“Wow your sick”

First one- Complement on your zombie killing skills!
Second one- Your lack of skills fighting zombies after you were bitten!


I saw two zombie kids fighting in a elementary school playground. Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance!


Son, “Mommy, mommy, there is a zombie in the yard!”

Mother, “What??!!”

Son, “Gotcha, April’s fool! He is right behind you.”


Little Johnny tells his friend, “My zombie died yesterday.”

Friend asks, “Oh, how did that happen?”

Johnny, “He hit his thumb with a hammer.”

Friend, “But you can’t die of that!”

Johnny, “I know but he wouldn’t stop moaning  so we had to shoot him.”


Give a zombie a match, and he’ll won’t know what to do with it.

Set it on fire, and it will be warm for the rest of his life.


Two zombies are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, “I say, Tommy, your wife really makes a great meal.”

Find More Great Zombie Humor Here

Zombie Jokes |  Cartoon Zombie Jokes  | Monster Jokes

Happy Halloween!

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Funny Zombie Jokes

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